


What Could Never Be

by kjack89



Category: Les Misérables - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, M/M, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-22
Updated: 2013-11-22
Packaged: 2018-01-02 08:50:03
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,489
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1054836
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kjack89/pseuds/kjack89
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Enjolras and Grantaire finally fall into bed together, but it doesn't end as expected.</p>
            </blockquote>





	What Could Never Be

**Author's Note:**

> Usual disclaimer applies, with added apology caveat for the porn that I shouldn't write.

When it finally happened, when they finally kissed for the first time, it was as if the floodgates had opened and they somehow couldn’t keep their hands off of each other.

Grantaire’s hands were tangled in Enjolras’s curls, while Enjolras’s fell to Grantaire’s hips, moving first over, then under, the hem of his t-shirt, brushing across his skin as they kissed each other almost hungrily.

Neither knew what had done it, what had driven them over the precipice of sexual tension, the edge of which they had been dancing on for months now, but as soon as their lips met, the tension exploded in the form of kisses, hot and heady and just desperate enough. Enjolras pushed Grantaire against the wall, their bodies slotting together almost too perfectly, his thigh between Grantaire’s.

Both were trying not to rut against each other, trying not to move too far too fast, but as Grantaire bit down on Enjolras’s neck, as Enjolras gasped and bit back a moan, they knew that they were too far gone now to stop. So Enjolras captured Grantaire’s lips with his own before muttering, “Take me back to yours.”

It was a command, plain and simple, and every instinct in Grantaire’s body was telling him to disobey, either just for custom’s sake, or because this really was a shit idea, but his hard-on was rubbing against Enjolras’s leg and he really wasn’t in a place to tell him no. So he nodded, and wordlessly gripped Enjolras’s hand in his and tugged him out the door.

They didn’t kiss the entire walk to Grantaire’s, but they didn’t need to. They touched in a hundred different, small ways: Enjolras’s fingers laced with Grantaire’s, his thumb rubbing little circles over the pale, almost translucent skin between Grantaire’s thumb and forefinger; Grantaire’s hip brushing against Enjolras’s as they walked; Enjolras turning to brush his cheek against Grantaire’s dark curls.

They didn’t talk either. Neither wanted to ruin the moment, to say the one thing that would break whatever spell they found themselves in, would remind them of the hundreds of reasons not to do this.

Instead, Grantaire’s hand tightened around Enjolras’s as he fumbled in his pocket with his free hand for his keys. Once the door was open, once they were inside, it was as if they had been doing this all their lives, Enjolras pulling Grantaire to him, Grantaire pushing him against the door, his hands fumbling with Enjolras’s shirt while Enjolras reached to just skim under the waistband of Grantaire’s jeans.

“Bedroom,” Grantaire gasped against Enjolras’s lips, tugging him away from the door. Enjolras followed all too willingly, his eyes dark, pupils blown wide. Once they were in the bedroom, Grantaire hesitated just a moment before running his hands down Enjolras’s chest, grabbing the hem of his t-shirt and tugging it upward.

Enjolras let Grantaire pull his shirt off, let Grantaire run his rough, calloused hands over the smooth, pale skin of Enjolras’s chest, thumbs ficking over his nipples in a way that made Enolras suck in a quick breath. But then he got impatient, and tugged at Grantaire’s t-shirt, stepping forward to pull Grantaire’s shirt off.

Grantaire stepped away, looking almost embarrassed, but Enjolras tugged him close, biting the junction of Grantaire’s neck and shoulder in a move that was distinctly territorial, all while his hands ran through Grantaire’s chest hair, dropped to follow Grantaire’s happy trail and fumble with the button of Grantaire’s jeans.

Moaning softly, Grantaire helped Enjolras, brushing his hands away to unzip his jeans himself, stepping out of them all while kissing Enjolras. Then his hands were on Enjolras’s hips, tugging at Enjolras's jeans until Enjolras chuckled and unzipped his jeans and pulled them down as well.

Grantaire’s cock was straining against his boxerbriefs, and Enjolras’s seemed to be faring no better, especially as Grantaire palmed him through his boxers, eliciting a bit-off groan. Grantaire grinned wickedly at Enjolras, and dropped to his knees, mouthing Enjolras’s cock through his boxers, his mouth curving into a smile as Enjolras’s hands tangled in his hair and he groaned.

“Don’t — fucking — tease,” Enjolras gasped.

Grantaire was quick to obey, tugging Enjolras’s boxers down to free his cock from the material. It curved upward, flushed and hard, and Grantaire licked his lips once before grasping it in one hand and bending to lick a stripe up from the base. Enjolras’s breath seemed to stutter as Grantaire took the head of Enjolras’s cock into his mouth, swirling his tongue around it. His hand pumped the base of Enjolras’s cock almost lazily, his free hand stroking Enjolras’s balls, and Enjolras’s moans grew steadily louder, his hands trying to force Grantaire to take more of his cock into his mouth.

Sitting back on his heels, Grantaire pulled back, letting Enjolras’s cock slide out his mouth with a wet noise. “Easy there,” he chuckled, his voice almost raspy and low with desire. “Don’t want you to come so soon.”

Enjolras let out a noise close to growl and pulled Grantaire up to kiss him, their lips crashing together as Enjolras’s hand slipped under the waistband of Grantaire’s underwear, long fingers wrapping around his hard cock, and Grantaire moaned. “Fuck, Enj,” he hissed, and then pushed him backwards until Enjolras’s knees hit the bed. He shimmied out of his boxers as quickly as he could before climbing on top of the bed, straddling Enjolras and bending to kiss him, their cocks rubbing against each other’s.

“Grantaire,” Enjolras gasped, his hands scrabbling against Enjolras’s back. “Please. I want…”

Grantaire nipped at Enjolras’s jaw. “What do you want?” he asked, purposefully rolling his hips against Enjolras’s. “Tell me what you want.”

Enjolras bit back a moan, and hissed through gritted teeth, “I want you to fuck me.”

The instant the words left Enjolras’s mouth, Grantaire had rolled off of him, crawling over to his nightstand for the bottle of lube and condoms he kept there. Enjolras lay back against the pillow, watching Grantaire with hooded eyes as the dark-haired man slicked his fingers, smiling wickedly at Enjolras as he rubbed one finger between Enjolras’s ass cheeks, circling his hole teasingly. “Grantaire,” Enjolras said, snapped more like, not yet to the point of begging.

Grantaire just smiled wider and bent to kiss Enjolras again, at the same time his finger slipped past the ring of muscle, pushing in up to his knuckle. He swallowed Enjolras’s gasp with his mouth, carefully easing the finger even further into him. “More,” Enjolras gasped, his hips bucking slightly. “Please.”

Only too happy to oblige, one finger became two, twisting and crooking, rubbing against Enjolras’s prostate and making him moan even louder than before. “Enough,” Enjolras said. “I’m ready. Fuck me.”

“So dirty,” Grantaire teased, kissing Enjolras once more. “I don’t think you’re ready. I think you could do with another finger, easily. I bet I could make you come from my fingers alone, without even touching your dick.” As if to prove his point, he slipped a third finger in, grinning at the way Enjolras writhed underneath him.

“Please, please, please,” Enjolras panted, flushed and needy.

Now Grantaire knew he was ready, and sat back on his heels, ripping the condom packet open and rolling it onto his cock, giving his cock a few lazy strokes as he stared down at Enjolras. “You’re so fucking beautiful,” he whispered, lining his cock up with Enjolras’s hole, running his hands down Enjolras’s thighs. “So fucking beautiful.”

Then he was pushing in, slowly, so slowly, ignoring Enjolras’s gasp. Once he was fully seated inside him, he kissed Enjolras, his palms sliding up Enjolras’s chest. He kissed down Enjolras’s jaw and neck, biting the taut skin there, licking the mark he had made.

“Move, Taire, fucking move,” Enjolras told him, voice shaky, fingernails biting into the flesh of Grantaire’s back, and Grantaire was only too happy to oblige, pulling out slightly to rock back into him.

He fucked Enjolras carefully at first, with steady, slow movements, content to watch Enjolras fall apart underneath him, but then Enjolras was scratching down his back, letting loose a string of obscenities that seemed to go straight to Grantaire’s cock, and he abandoned his slow, steady pace, pushing into Enjolras with abandon. He slipped a hand between them to jerk Enjolras off with what he hoped was a similar rhythm, but he was too far gone to much care.

There were so many things both men wanted to do, so much each had thought about doing with each other, that here and now, limbs tangled, Grantaire thrusting into Enjolras as Enjolras moaned and gasped and clenched around him, neither wanted it to end as quickly as it was inevitably going to.

But the feelings had been pent up for far too long, and Enjolras came with Grantaire’s name on his lips, either an obscenity or an almost reverent prayer as his head fell back against the pillow, his come splattering across both their stomachs.

Grantaire rode him through his orgasm with sharp snaps of his hips, but it took only a few more thrusts before he came as well, almost collapsing against Enjolras afterwards, his chest heaving. He pulled out and fumbled with the condom, pulling it off and tying it with shaking fingers before rolling over next to Enjolras, breathing heavily. “Fuck,” he said when he finally regained the power of speech.

“Mmm,” Enjolras hummed in agreement, curling into Grantaire, pillowing his head against Grantaire’s chest, one hand lazily tracing the planes of Grantaire’s stomach. “God I’ve wanted to do that for so long.”

“Yeah,” Grantaire said softly, bending to kiss Enjolras gently. “Me too.”

They stayed like that for a long moment, tangled together, both coming back down to earth, both coming back to reality. As he did, Grantaire seemed to stiffen against Enjolras, until he pushed Enjolras off of him with gentle hands, sitting up. Enjolras propped himself up on his hand, watching as Grantaire swung out of bed. “Where are you going?” he asked, his voice rough.

Grantaire didn’t meet his eyes, grabbing his boxers and pulling them on before tossing Enjolras’s at him. “You should go,” he said, still looking away, his shoulders tense.

Enjolras sat up slowly, confused. “What are you talking about? Grantaire—”

“Don’t.” Grantaire’s voice was quiet but firm, even though he was still studiously looking at the ground. “Just…just go, ok?”

Though Enjolras pulled his boxers on, his fingers shaking for different reasons. He stood, awkwardly, trying to catch Grantaire’s eye, to force him to look at him, to tell him to his face what was going on. “Look, I don’t know how you normally do this, but I just had pretty fucking spectacular sex, and—”

Grantaire laughed, a low, bitter laugh. “Oh, the sex was fantastic, just like I always thought it would be,” he said conversationally, only the tension in his shoulders and the way he clenched his fists revealing that something was terribly wrong. “But sexual chemistry was never really our problem, was it? It’s what comes after that would be our problem, trying to force this into something that it’s not meant to be.”

“What are you talking about?” Enjolras asked again, softly, struggling to keep his voice calm. “What do you mean, what comes after? What, you don’t…you don’t want this to be anything?”

Shaking his head, Grantaire looked at him for the first time, his eyes infinitely sad. “What I want doesn’t matter,” he said quietly. “What matters that this  _can’t_  be anything. Never could. You and I…we do nothing but fight. That’s not exactly what a relationship is based on, is it?”

Enjolras took another step towards Grantaire, reaching out to him, hands dropping to his side when Grantaire shrugged away from him, arms crossed tightly in front of his chest. “A relationship is based on emotions, on feelings,” he told Grantaire steadily. “And that we have in spades. Unless you’re somehow saying you don’t, which, forgive me, but I’m pretty sure the last hour proved otherwise.”

“Feelings?” Grantaire asked, his voice rising in volume. “You think I don’t have feelings for you? I  _love_  you, Enjolras, have loved you for years. But you and me…we’re disaster waiting to happen, a ticking timebomb, and I can’t do that to you. I can’t do that to our friends.”

“Our friends?” Enjolras repeated. “What the fuck do our friends have to do with this?”

Grantaire shook his head. “Everything,” he said sadly. “I know the most important thing in your life is Les Amis; I’m not stupid. And if we did this…if we were together…when we broke up, it would rip our friends apart. You know that it would.”

Enjolras shook his head as well, his mouth a thin, determined line. “Why are you so fucking convinced that we would break up? That this would fall apart?”

Grantaire held his arms wide, gesturing at himself. “Do you want the short list of reasons why I’m fucked up and you would get tired of me, or the long? Do you want me to go through everything I do and say that would drive you crazy? Do you want me to enumerate the ways that I would drive you away until you couldn’t stand it?”

“Yeah, actually I would!” Enjolras snapped, flushing with anger. “Or else I’d like a chance to actually see for myself, to not have you make decisions for me.” He reached out to Grantaire, grabbing his hands in both of his. “You say you love me, and I…I don’t know if I love you, not yet, but I know that I have feelings for you, more than I think I ever have for another person. All I’m asking for is a chance.”

Shaking his head, Grantaire gently pulled his hands away. “It’s a chance that I’m not willing to take.” He stared at Enjolras with unreadable eyes, and nodded towards the door. “You should go.”

Enjolras blinked at him, feeling completely dumbfounded. He nodded, just once, and gathered his clothes almost mechanically. He looked back at Grantaire as he pulled his jeans on and shrugged into his shirt. “This isn’t the end of the conversation, Grantaire. I don’t give up easily.”

Grantaire just shook his head again. “You should though,” he said, almost sadly. “You really, really should.”

Enjolras crossed to him then, pulling him into a deep kiss, cupping his cheek as he pressed his lips against Grantaire’s, trying desperately to get through to him. Grantaire just stood there, unmoving. “I won’t,” he said fiercely. “And I won’t give up on this. On you. I promise you that.”

Grantaire watched as he left. He was a man who had gotten everything he thought he had ever wanted, but couldn’t keep it. And he knew that. So as Enjolras closed the door after him, Grantaire sighed heavily and said softly, “You will. You will.”


End file.
